Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
