so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
