Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Congratulations! We have a period
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