I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Houston, we have a blender
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
