dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
