If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
