wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
