Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
