So drunk its hurt
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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