I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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