love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
