Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
