escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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