8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
