I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
