Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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