Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
