One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
