I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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