dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
