Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's rum buckets o'clock
i think im in europe. pls send help
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
