It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
