i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
