just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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