Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
