I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
