went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
