would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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