I must be too annoying 4 u.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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