guys are not supposed to queef...right?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
