im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
im on a boat
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