Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
