nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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