please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
