If that was your dad, he is hot
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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