We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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