Sry I called you an 8
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
