I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
