Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
