if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
