She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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