You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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