I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
