I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
