Dual....:-)
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
