I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
