I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
