She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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