I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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