my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
