Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
