My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
