the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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