even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
